They call me Mama…
I work, I clean, I cook, I scrub, and I fold. I kiss owies, style hair, prepare lunches and run errands. I make homemade gifts, run a business, write my blog, walk the dog, exercise to get fit and greet my man at the door each night he gets home from work. Am I perfect? No, not even close. Do I try to be? Well obviously, look at all the things I do in one day. I AM NOT MY MOTHER-IN-LAW! Which I like to remind Jake of. I love the woman but I’m not her, nor will I ever be and nor do I want to be. She homeschooled all 3 of her sons, went to co-op with them, helped teach at our church and does the bookkeeping for her husband’s HVAC company. Honestly, I tell her all the time, it’s a miracle she hasn’t gone crazy and ran away yet. She doesn’t even drink! Yes, I am in awe of her. She’s an amazing woman. But again, I am not her. I’m not that 50’s housewife that I set out to be. While there may disagreements on this in my home, I think I work way harder than Jake. I don’t get a day off from my job. It follows me around, literally, she hangs off me while I am trying to go to the bathroom and asks me what I’m doing!
The other day I was reading these posts about all the things we’re doing wrong as parents and one about all the things that we’re doing right as parents. Who are these people who do not know me to judge me as a parent? As far as they know, I’m not doing any of the things that “they” think I should be doing or maybe I’m doing all of them. Sadly, we are all quick to judge at one point or another. I admit I have been guilty of it and I have worked very hard not to.
I was thinking about it all weekend after reading that I am “trying too hard to be a perfect parent.” I’m not trying to be a perfect parent by anyone’s standards other than my own. If your kid looks at you in awe when you make them mac & cheese for lunch, well then you are a perfect parent. They are just so excited and so happy that you gave them something they love which makes you perfect to them. Audrey thinks I’m perfect still because I am home with her everyday. I make her laugh, feed her meals, teach her how to play fetch with the dog and cuddle her when ever she asks me to.
While men say they want a woman like their mother, it’s not true. Look, they moved away from their mommy’s for a reason! I tried really hard to be June Cleaver, for Jake. I have a set cleaning schedule I do every day. He gets home from work and I am waiting at the door to take his lunch box and give him a kiss. I make him a homemade dinner while he relaxes and plays with Audrey. Come bed time, I clean up from dinner, make his lunch and breakfast for the next day, crawl in bed, kiss him goodnight and roll over in exhaustion. Now you’re probably think I’m lying about something here. Well here is the thing, I actually do all of those everyday, only I don’t do it to nearly as well as I would like to. Which is ok. Jake tells me all the time that my job is to take care of Audrey and myself first. I have sacrificed eating all day just to make sure he can come home to a spotless house and not have to worry about not having clean clothes. Does it make me happy when I do that? Not a flippin’ bit! I am
a mean person when I am hungry and Jake knows that I’m scary.
There will be days when you are just so exhausted you can’t do it all. THAT IS ALRIGHT!!! You don’t have to do it all to be perfect. If you and your family are all happy at the end of the day, then you were a perfect parent. Plenty of times I feel like a bad parent because I can’t give Audrey what she wants at the moment but then I remind myself, I’m not THAT parent. I don’t cave and give her something just because she cries. I know in a few years, I will hear I’m a mean mommy. I will survive it and so will she. As long as I get to be Audrey’s mom at the end of the day and get her kisses and hear I love you, that’s perfect parenting for me. So stop beating yourself up. Stop letting other’s judgment affect your confidence. If you’re doing everything you can to make your kid happy and not being an abusive parent, then you’re a perfect parent.
In the words of Taylor Swift, “And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off!”