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Take Your Toddler To Target in 50 Steps

Take Your Toddler To Target in 50 Steps

“Target” just the name can send chills of excitement down a stay-at-home mother’s spine. It can also make your husband’s stomach churn. Somehow, we can all manage to walk in planning to spend a certain amount that ends up being multiplied by 5 when we […]

Pimp My Ride, Momzibit

Pimp My Ride, Momzibit

Remember MTV? Yea, me either. But for a while there was this show called “Pimp My Ride” where they took death traps and made them look like the “private” room of a sleezy strip club. I have seen them add tvs, speakers and even fish […]

And I’m The Bigot?

And I’m The Bigot?

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I don’t think most people on the internet know the definition of bigot. It means to be intolerant of those holding a different opinion. Well, wouldn’t that make most of the world bigots? Not everyone agrees with what you say, do or think. Plenty are willing to comment on it. Yet those who cast the first stone will hide in terror if you should say something about their behavior.

I continue to see memes about being too anti-gay, anti-gun or homophobic. When you share these, you’re being a bigot. You are throwing stones at a person because of their beliefs. I will stand behind what I believe even if that means I am to be persecuted by ignorant people who refuse to find out why I feel this way.

You say that we should be free to live our lives how we so choose but say I’m wrong when it’s not how you think I should live. Am I wrong because I choose to follow what my God has set as the laws of the land? Am I wrong because I believe in gun safety? Am I wrong because I believe in controlled hunting and preservation? Am I wrong because I parent different than you?

They will call me a bigot but I have not once said, “You don’t think like me, so you’re wrong!” While I may not agree with your lifestyle, you have the right to live it how you choose. All I can do is pray you stay safe from harm and live a happy and fulfilling life.

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This Is Trending?

This Is Trending?

The other day, I decided to finally cave and buy my first pair of TOMS. They’re gorgeous by the way. Yea yea, I’m a little late to jump on the trend. But for a while, I just couldn’t bring myself to buy them, mostly because […]

DIY Garden Bed Retaining Wall

DIY Garden Bed Retaining Wall

Spring has sprung. Birds are chirping, sun is shining and flowers are blooming. I have been wanting to have flowers in our yard since we got the house. Took me 8 years but it’s happening. In between our house and our neighbor’s was this HIDEOUS bush […]

Happy Birthday to Pappy Bloodhound

Happy Birthday to Pappy Bloodhound

47 years ago today, a (big) 10 pound baby was born. He had some rolls and big cheeks. Some years (19) went by and he was a rambunctious child. Acted like a fool, broke some bones, and flipped some burgers. Then on a beautiful night at the county fair, he met a young lady and decided to stalk her around the fair. Didn’t take long before she fell for that baby face and they were married. Then that baby faced man, had me and it changed his life. He never knew how DOOMED he was.

My dad has been my biggest supporter and my worst enemy. We’re identical in personality and we have short fuses. But I have the best memories with him. He taught me how to shoot a gun, drove 90 mph down the high way screaming at a cop that I needed to go to the ER and gave me my first sip of beer. Plenty of mornings, he took me to get a doughnut before school.

When I met Jake, I think he fell in love with him even more than I did. They became friends right away. I think they talk more than Jake and I do and we live together. He was the one who wanted to bring him on vacations with us. When we got our bloodhound, Tara, he was ecstatic. He was so happy to have that slobbering puppy crawl all over him. The man was so ready to be a Pappy. He gets down and still wrestles her even after she hit the 100 pound mark and leaves spit trails.

That’s a happy Pappy with his 2 hour old granddaughter.

His life got even better when I gave him, Audrey. He’s even made up a song that they sing together. She gets so excited to see him and likewise. They video call each other. It is pretty amazing to see how he is with her. The man just loves being a grandpa. Kids think he’s the greatest (because he’s a giant kid).

I can’t believe I’m saying this, his head is going to get even bigger, but I wouldn’t be the woman or mom I am without him to guide me.

Happy Birthday, Jerbew. The Kid loves you.

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Thank a Mother

Thank a Mother

I pray for the women who raised us. I pray for their happiness. I pray for their health. I pray for their well being. I pray for their sanity. It takes an immense amount of strength to let go of your life for another’s. I […]

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

It’s 2:47 am. My 2 year old daughter is wide awake and laughing at me as I try to get after her for being naughty. She thought it was funny that she was still up and hitting her hand on my bedroom wall to keep […]

Ovaries, a Uterus and a Woman walk into a bar…

Ovaries, a Uterus and a Woman walk into a bar…

This post was originally featured over on www.projectunderblog.com

“Let’s make a baby! You know you want to.”
Me: Shut up! No I don’t!
“Remember how beautiful it is feeling kicks? You miss that.”.
Me: Yea but I don’t miss getting kicked in the ribs or peeing my pants from them.
“Oh and the first time you hold the baby. It was the most romantic moment in your life.”
Me: Yes but labor hurts and you guys almost killed me from it.
“But you’re alive. Look at those tiny socks. Don’t you miss newborn clothes?”
Me: Of course but they grow out of that so fast. Plus she had blow outs that made even my iron stomach sick.
“Oh little baby pacifiers and tiny bottom diapers. Everything is so much adorable when it’s this tiny.”
Me: Shut up already!  I am not listening to you guys anymore! I’m not ready for more and if you don’t stop I will get rid of you!

This is a true conversation that happened with myself and my ovaries and uterus the other day. Now that the tot is nearing 2 and definitely no longer a baby I do get sentimental. She just got a “big girl” room and I got out the last of the onesies. I actually cried like a man getting kicked in the groin. I tried to push my feelings down deep. Choked back some sobs and put on my tough guy face. Then I went and got a beer and skipped over the scratching myself part.

I know 5 people who are having babies. That is a lot! And out of those 5, I was pregnant with Audrey the same time 3 of them were pregnant with kids. Since I first announced her impending arrival I have been hearing non stop, “Are you guys going to have more? How far are you going to space the next one out?” Whoa now, I just got pregnant with my first and am not even half way through this. Just slow down folks. We both LOVE being parents. It really is the greatest joy in the world for us. But we also very happy with how things are now and are not ready to add another baby to this mix. 2 in diapers? No thanks. 2 in a crib? Hell no! Although, it is a lot easier to wrangle them when you have 4 walls.

As I type this, my ovaries are screaming at me. “You’ll be 30 in 3 years and 7.6 months! You better hurry up and have more if you’re going to have them or you’ll be miserable. Why gap them out so far apart? You want a kid in elementary school and one starting college? That completely will screw up your life plans!” My response was to go get a coke, heat up some mashed potatoes and double check that I took my birth control this morning (I did).

I in no way, have any guilt or shame on not having more than one child. I’m an only child. I’m not a selfish asshole. I gladly share, just ask Jake, he usually takes what ever I just made myself. I shared my body for 9 months with another human being. No, I didn’t grow up to become some creepy person who is almost a serial killer. I’m just a funny asshole who is happy with a small family. Don’t tell me it’s selfish and cruel to deny her the joys of a sibling. I saw the way my cousins beat the snot out of each other. It’s hard when you have long legs and are tall to sit in the middle of the back seat with that damn hump. No one wants to be the divider from siblings fighting. Do you know how many times I got hit because my Aunt was trying to hit one of her other kids and missed because she was driving? So no thanks!

For now, I’m just going to tune out my ovaries and tell my uterus to keep quiet and enjoy my booze. Oh wait, booze is how I got in the situation in the first place…

 

Alyssa

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Black Gold: DIY Compost

Black Gold: DIY Compost

Ah, Spring. Birds are chirping, flowers blooming and the sun is shining. Time to enjoy the fresh air and some delicious iced drinks on the patio. But one of my favorite things to do is grow my garden. There is nothing more delicious than food […]


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