Pain, discomfort, bloating and the potty dance. Where is that sippy cup? Ooh tv! Yummy, snacks. Whee, ride the car. I can’t believe how much time and effort it costs me to just to use my bathroom alone. It’s expensive to pee alone. Oh but it’s so worth it. Just those 2 minutes of tinkling in peace can change your mood around. When you get a shower and can do more than wash your hair, ooh da la lee!
Shaving your legs when you have little ones is the equivalent of Aphrodite having a spa day. Oh, it’s truly that glorious. It’s amazing when you can actually wrangle those eyebrows with out stabbing yourself in the eye with tweezers or drip wax where it doesn’t belong. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve over plucked or even misplucked because I had someone hanging off my leg and hollering like a banshee.
The trick to be alone for 2 minutes to 15 minutes is distraction. Being a stay at home mom means daddy is gone for work already when we start our day. So now I grab a cereal bar, sippy cup FULL of juice, some sort of tiny finger food and start up some Disney Junior. NO SHAME! Show her some fun toys she can play with, explain 5 maybe 6 times that mommy is going to be in the bathroom and take a shower but by herself. Make sure nothing is around that can hurt her and the doors and gates are up. Explain another time that I’ll just be right there. Stress for another ten minutes watching her around the corner.
Finally I can hop in the shower. But that’s not the end. The meter is still going and the price keeps rising. While you want to just enjoy the fact that you’re getting the grossness out of your hair,
impossible you can’t. Did she just scream? Pops head out to listen. Ok, she’s alright. What was that? Is someone knocking on the door? Dog isn’t barking so I guess not.
The meaning of a quick shower changes after you have kids. Pre-motherhood a quick shower meant you usually weren’t going to do a full body scrub and/or make sure your legs are completely hair free. Now it means you’re just trying to get the 3 day old stink off. Yes, you could shower after they’re in bed but who likes to go to bed with a wet head? Ugh, not me! While I’m sure I will have to worry about what my child is doing when I’m in the shower for at least the next 17 years, I guess I will. Guess it’s time mommy buys the wine glass shower hook. Who am I kidding? I just bring the bottle in there with me.
Tell mama, how do you get some privacy and free time? What is the cost?