Now reading that title, some may think this is some prank post knowing me. Part of me wishes that were true as I write this out. I’m not much of a prankster, more a hide for as long as it takes and jump out and scare the bejeebers of my family. No, this post is about what I have learned over the last four years of a lesson I was being taught for the last 28 by my parents and so many around me.
It wasn’t until our daughter was born that I truly was conscious of the little acts we do on a daily basis to show our love to one another. To me, stroking his hand as he walked by or giving him a smile with a wink wasn’t anything special. Having him kiss me on the top of my head or smack my hind end, again didn’t seem that special. These little things were just that, little. They were happening every day. It became a routine that just became a natural movement.
As a child I would cringe every time my parents kissed. I even yelled at my father for giving my mom a pat on the bottom one time. I told him that was gross and he shouldn’t do that. My mother of course laughed and jokingly thanked me for “protecting” her from dad and then winked at him. I was pretty proud of myself. When I told my grandparents about it, my Granddad told me, “You sure are a lucky little girl to have parents that love each other as much as they do.” I didn’t understand it at the time and wouldn’t truly comprehend how lucky I was and am until high school.
Now that our daughter is four, she likes to yell, EWW every time we kiss. We play a game that I randomly tell her she better not steal her daddy’s last kisses. She runs off and nearly knocks the wind out of him each time trying to squeeze him tight and smother him in kisses. Then she asks three times at least if that was his last kiss. It has been very important to us as parents to have her always know that she is loved by us. But we make sure she understands that we are always going to love each other as well and sometimes we need time just the two of us.
Sleeping next to your partner isn’t enough to keep things going. The tiniest acts can help keep the embers burning in your intimacy. But embers alone can not warm you up or cook a full meal. You need to fuel the fire. I’m not suggesting going on a lavish vacation kid free but who doesn’t want that? Sit down on your bed and rub each others feet while you talk about your days, the news, things coming up or just stare into one another’s eyes. Watch a new show together and then either mock it, or talk about how great it was.
When your kids see you having these stolen glances, intimate touches, breathless kisses and nights away, they may be grossed out but over time they will learn a valuable lesson. They will learn that you need to appreciate the ones you love and remind them the values you have set for your family. As long as my daughter is grossed out by the kisses we have then I know we are doing something right.