If you go online, there are hundreds and thousands of articles about preparing for a baby, preparing for labour and how to manage your hormones during pregnancy. They talk about the moments leading up to birth and how you will feel after your baby is in your arms. The one thing they don’t talk about? Romance.
Post-partum, mothers and fathers the world over are TIRED. There is no other word for it. A tiny fireball has entered their lives and turned everything out of sync and upside down, and the only feeling that most new parents manage to identify is sheer exhaustion. Did you know that sleep deprivation was used as a torture method in the war? Well, welcome to torture! It’s only when you have a new baby in the house that you truly understand what exhaustion is. So, a new mother is generally weepy, overwhelmed, exhausted and in need of a good and hot shower to wake up and feel like a human being again instead of a milk machine. Because of this, it’s up to you fathers out there to pick up the reins of being a couple as well as parents. This is sometimes a difficult feat; the exhaustion we mentioned can skew the brain and the only thing you can think about is the next snatch of sleep.
Injecting a little romance back into your life after a baby is something you need to do slowly. A six-week check for Mom happens first, and baby needs to get into a routine of feeding and sleeping. Contraception is always discussed at the six-week check, but what you need to do is get yourself back in the groove as a couple without pressing the issue. Sex after a baby can feel like the last thing on the mind of a new Mom, and new Dads can end up feeling rejected, even when it’s not intended. You can do as much clothes shopping, manscaping and beard trimming as you like, but if Mom isn’t ready to get back on the horse – so to speak – you need to show her romance in other ways. Take the baby so she can have a catch-up nap. Run her a bubble bath to relax in. Support her by cutting up her food while she is breastfeeding. Change the dirty diapers and put on a load of baby washing so that she feels like you’re getting involved.
All these small gestures to show her you care actually warm a mother in ways you couldn’t imagine. Sex may not be on the cards the initial days after a baby, for either of you, but there are ways to be romantic without going the distance. A new baby changes your life, and it’s up to you to make sure that Mom feels like you are equally as invested in this little game changer as she is. Make those little gestures and she will fall more in love with you than she did before.