It is one of those sad things that nobody wants to think about going through, but sometimes a relationship breakup is inevitable. And it is made all the more difficult if there are kids involved too. One of your main focuses will be on maintaining their regular life as much as you can, and ensuring they go through as little emotional turmoil as possible. Obviously, many couples try to stay together to sort things out, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out as you had hoped. Here are a few ways that you can make the breakup process easier for your kids.
Tell Them the Right Way
Before you start with the other logistical details of the breakup like getting divorce lawyers involved, you will want to work out how you are going to tell the kids. You need to prepare for this event with your former partner beforehand. Choose a familiar environment and sit everyone down together, making it clear that you are about to have an important conversation. Speak honestly and clearly, but make sure you take the age of the child and their maturity level into account when working out how much detail to go into. Remember to both reinforce that it is not the kids’ fault and give them time to react to the news.
Be Prepared For the Emotional Fallout
Depending on the personality of your kids, they will inevitably have different reactions to the news you have just given. Some may become angry and lash out, while others will become quiet and retreat into themselves. Remember to become a good listener, responding to any of the issues that your children raise. However, you still have to retain your usual household rules or things could quickly spiral out of control.
Stick to Routines
Try to maintain as many of your regular routines as you can to encourage stability and continuity. Many children will take comfort in this consistency, so make sure to agree everything with your former partner so that everything stays on track.
Treat Your Former Partner Well
Kids who see their parents arguing in front of them are more likely to start picking sides and you could end up causing added divides. Instead, it is better to treat each other with respect to show that the decision you have taken is mutual and the two of you are still able to act as good parental figures despite no longer being in a relationship. Avoid speaking badly about them behind their back as well, because this is likely to have a similar effect.
Have Support Systems in Place
It is important for both you and your kids that you have support systems in place to guide you through this difficult time in life. During this period, it is likely you will get a clear picture of which friends and family can be relied upon the most. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it as the ones that truly care about you will be more than willing to support you.