47° at 9 am and of course 77° by 5 pm. It’s the sign of early fall in the Pacific Northwest. I got bundled up in my bf jeans and a big cardigan. Dressed my mini in something comfy for her to play in with […]
Month: September 2015
I was rushing to get my two and a half year old out of the car and into the a/c filled mall. The day was another 100° one and the heat was affecting both of our moods. We strap her into the stroller with her juice and snacks. Not even 5 minutes later and she’s begging me to let her out so she can be a big girl. Apparently, being a big girl means pushing her own stroller into the clothes racks. We had to go back the next day, so I decided to skip the stroller and let her walk like a big girl. Rookie mistake. She was a tiny terrorist on the loose. Too much excitement for her to see and stick her hands all over.
As parents, we all enjoy watching the exciting milestones from the first smile to crawling and the first time on a potty. But no one tells you about the bad milestones, the ones that nearly drive you into the quiet and comfy padded room where you can be alone. That doesn’t sound to bad right now. I’ve compiled a list of these “milestones” for you parents who’ve yet been as fortunate as the rest.
1. Dressing themselves. It’s adorable the crazy outfits they can concoct. What’s not adorable is when it takes them an hour and they have underwear on their head and need a bath again.
2. Feeding themselves. While it means you have a chance at finally having a normal meal, don’t hold your breath. Your food (exact same plates) tastes better because it’s not cut up and played with. Half of it ending up in their tummies is a miracle since it usually ends up on the floor, their hair or clothes.
3. Learning buckles. You’re running late for an appointment and your tiny banshee wants to buckle their own car seat. You’re not allowed to help.
4. Choices. You foolishly ask them what they want to eat or drink. When they can’t decide or choose something you won’t let them have, faces turn red and floor tantrums begin (seriously, get off the floor. Do you know the last time you cleaned it and now you’re flipping out like your kid?)
5. Cellphones We don’t want to be the parent who relies on their cellphone or tablet to keep the tantrums in public at bay. Yet we do it because we have to. Downfall is they want them at home and during dinner.
6. Running They get some new shoes and they’re the Flash. It is so cute how fast they take off; until it’s into the street or a giant food can pyramid.
7. Helping You don’t want them to help but you also don’t want them trying to get the knives out like a Middle Eastern Bazaar street performer. (That’s an Aladin joke folks.)
8. Repeating We tell them to say Mama and Dada a trillion times over. Then when they do we want it again. Then they hear us drop an F-bomb and we can’t get them to stop repeating it.
9. Potty Training Finally, you can see the diaperless finish line. It’s so beautiful. But it’s not over just because she has mermaid panties. Get ready for poor butt wiping because they’re a big kid. Have a plumber on speed dial for the extra tp and anything else they think should be flushed.
10. Bed Time They’re big now Mom and Dad. But they act like a newborn when you tell them it’s time for sleep. Screaming, crying, and suddenly they can’t hold themselves up.
Goodluck and may God have mercy on your soul.
It seems my to-do list never gets anything crossed off. It’s exhausting just to look at. With a preschooler running around, errands to run and helping out my family, my life is just a little overwhelming. But where do I begin to relax? Get a massage? I’ll just be knotted up again when I see what I need to do. Drink some beer? Then I’ll never get anything done. Workout? Not very easy when you can see the piles of laundry and stacked bills.
My life needs a good detox. Not like you see on Pinterest. I’m not going to wrap myself in plastic and drink some weird thing (although I’d probably look great afterwards.) I’m going to relieve the anxiety creating stress spots in my house. Sadly that doesn’t mean I can lock my family up so they’ll never cause a mess again. I have found ways to help you feel better. Some may take 5 minutes and some take upwards of 30. It all depends on how much you need to deal with
1. Clean out your fridge. This is something we all should be doing a little more often than we do. Grab your trashcan and fill the sink with hot, soapy water. Dump containers and toss them in the sink to start soaking and rid odors. This is a simple 5-10 minute task.
2. Pull out lone hangers. If you’re like me, then you have a million hangers in your closet without clothes on them. It makes it difficult to find something to wear when they’re catching everything. Pull out the empty ones and take them to your laundry room for quick hangings.
3. 10 minute pickup. Set the timer on your phone or microwave for 10 minutes. Use the full time and go through picking up anything that isn’t in it’s place. Shoes, coats, bags, papers. Do this every few days as needed and you’ll be amazed at how much cleaner your house looks.
4. Tackle your desk. My husband and I have seperate desks in our home. Mine has become the one where everyone tosses their stuff when they walk in the door. So to prevent this, I hung up a key hook above it. We’ve also created a mail basket so nothing gets lost. You can get these at the dollar store or Walmart.
5. Kids room dance party. If you haven’t seen the videos of Audrey dancing on my social media page, you’re missing out on a good laugh. Girl has moves. But like any kid, she doesn’t want to clean her room. So before bath time, if we can clean up her room in under 5 minutes, she gets a dance party. Great motivation for a three year old. Find a 5-10 minute reward that works for your kids
6. The dreaded email. My email inbox is scary. It’s like a scene from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Too many crazy things and I’m not sure where to go first. This will take a while the first time but don’t spend more than 30 minutes on it. Create folders for important things and organize them best you can. Delete junk. Try to reply to anything that needs immediate attention.
7. Calendars and planners. Poor Jake. I drive him nuts. I hate not knowing things. Surprises are the devils work to me. And he says I don’t tell him when we have things (lies, he just ignores me.) To prevent forgetting anything, make sure you write in on a calendar for everyone to see. Include the time if possible. Make sure it’s in a spot you’ll easily and frequently see it. Use bold colored pens. Buy a cheap one from the dollar store or the Target dollar spot.
Simple things here and there once a week or every few days can really make a difference. I have created a cleaning chart for myself to help. I make sure I do 1-2 loads of laundry a day. Run the dishwasher before I crawl in bed. And each room has a different day it gets cleaned. Some things are weekly and others, like cleaning the drapes and spraying down the house are once a month.
Make sure you tell me how you #detoxyourlife and show me how you rid the bad. For this project, I joined Oscar Health Insurance company, a new kind of health insurance, that wants to inspire everyone to take charge of their health and find simple ways like I mentioned to take some daily stress out of the equation. For anyone interested and in the area, you can learn more about their health insurance plans in New Jersey and New York.